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Faced with perhaps a first big emergency as adults, most of us have had this thought process: “Trouble! Call the adults!” Then an unsettling realization: “Oh no. I’m the grown-up here.”

Suddenly, responsibility weighs very heavily on us. No bucks can be passed. No other authorities like parents or teachers called. Often, we feel (and perhaps are) wholly unqualified for the task at hand. And yet, the decisive moment lies entirely within our control. God is, of course, with us. But the actions and choices we make are essential.

This truth of regular life goes double for family life, and goes triple for the spiritual and moral life.

As we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family today, we read in Matthew’s Gospel how the Lord prompted and guided Joseph to lead his Holy Family through danger after danger to safety. We might wonder: Did Joseph feel up to the task? Might those same panicked thoughts have also run through his head? After all, there was a great deal going on. Consider: First angels appeared, heralding an unexpected pregnancy and an even more unexpected delivery. Then shepherds and wise men and more angels turned up with praise and gifts. Now suddenly a king is out for your blood. More angels appear in dreams giving travel instructions but surprisingly no other resources. Joseph seems left to his own devices to protect Jesus and Mary.

It’s not so far-fetched to think that Joseph would have thought: Who am I to do this? I’m not qualified for any of it. Mary and even the infant Jesus might seem more competent choices, at least by grace. And yet, Joseph was exactly who God had chosen for that moment. God’s strength is made perfect in weakness. His grace is sufficient.

Our life, both in family and faith, often seem like a chaotic microcosm of what St. Joseph experienced, albeit with differently flavored highs and lows. It can be tempting amidst it all to hear the call to be a saint and respond: “I’m not cut out for this!” or “I need special training or equipment.” Then we often look to pass the buck. Someone else is called to be holy in this moment. Granted, sometimes it is true that specialization is needed. Yet for most of daily life, we are the competent adults. We are the ones to whom responsibility is entrusted and through whom God’s grace works. The buck stops with us. If we don’t do it, no one else is waiting in the wings to swoop in and save the day.

Make no mistake: Had Joseph not acted and followed the angel’s warning; the Holy Family really would have been in peril. It is quite possible that Jesus would have died a much younger death.

It’s surprising how vulnerable God has made himself. And yet, at every moment God’s providence and grace were sovereign, guiding and working through Joseph’s free choices. God defended his only beloved son, through Joseph. God’s grace matters, but so do Joseph’s free acts. The entire episode is a beautiful meditation of how God works in our lives. It touches on predestination and free will, and even on how God uses ordinary things to bestow extraordinary graces, like in the sacraments. Salvation depends on seemingly normal things and choices, by God’s providence and will.

For our part, what are we to do when similar situations arise in family life? Ite ad Joseph. (Latin for: Go to Joseph.) We should ask his intercession daily, as it is truly powerful. But we should also imitate his life in this passage: remaining open and docile to the Lord through a habit of prayer; being prompt to believe and follow God’s commands to the letter; using the resources allotted to us creatively; trusting in the guidance of providence to bestow grace and help where needed; and surprisingly: Make sure to get enough sleep. In short, it’s the old two-step dance: Pray, and do the next reasonable thing. That’s how God makes saints from daily and family life.

Most people today don’t believe they’re meant to be saints. Fewer still believe that God wants to make us saints with extraordinary graces hidden in ordinary life situations. If someone were to say to them: “You’re the responsible adult, and God is going to work through you and your daily actions, making you a means of grace to save your family and friends,” they’d likely respond: “In your dreams.” To which St. Joseph might just break his biblical silence to respond: “Yes! And in your waking reality, too.”